Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Black and White vs. Color (Fashion Blog Post)

I don't feel like I'm good enough for my husband.

I felt the worst when we first became serious. It took him only one date to make a commitment. Couldn't understand what appealed to him so much: he's great; I'm so-so; and that's fact. People closest to us, however, seemed to think that we fit so right together. 

"You are perfect for each other," his mom confessed after seeing us together for the first time. But even with my future mother-in-law's approval, I still felt self-conscious.

It's not self-deprecation talking; it's what I had to measure up to: his ex.

I'll call her Miss X. She's the Epitome of Success!

First off, she came from scholarly prestige: her Father triple-majored at ... where else? ... Harvard. He was also a Rhodes Scholar. Her Mother graduated from ... where else? ... Yale. Her uncle wrote books that sold well. If you watch the History Chanel, you've probably seen him. Her siblings work on Wall Street. They make a lot of money. Her Grandmother built an empire. Her Great Uncle did too.

You get the picture.

And the girl herself. Oh my God. 

Studying Biochemical Engineering wasn't enough, she had to get a Ph.D. But that wasn't enough either. She continued with a postdoc. All of her titles have an ivy league badge attached, by the way. Now, she's researching a cure for cancer.

Not only is she smart, she's going to save mankind!

A smart girl like her must be unattractive, right?

...Annnnnnd I saw her picture: perfect skin and pretty smile and petite frame, all dressed in sleek Burberry.

I hate her. (I'm kidding.) I don't hate her. I don't know her. I just wish she'd burst into flame. (Okay, I'm kidding again.)

I don't blame her. With a family like hers, she was going to become successful whether she liked it or not. Her path is clear-cut; her world is black-and-white. Perhaps that's why my husband liked her in the first place--because she's good on paper, and such a clear choice.

So I wonder why, after four-something years of being with a person like her, my husband would be into a two-bit loser like me? Next to her, I might as well be a doped-up meth addict.

But his mother told me, "you add 'color' to his life."

Great. She will cure cancer, and I'm a fun girl.

As I heard more stories about the perfect Miss X, though, I realized what those people meant.

When she invited my husband to wine-and-cheese parties at work, she left him alone in a corner to socialize with elitist colleagues. She criticized his cooking after he slaved for hours in the kitchen on a work day.

She threw big words and sophisticated jargon at his mom's face, knowing very well that his mom had absolutely no idea what her research entailed.

My husband's mom was no dummie, by the way. She was a director-level manager at a large telecommunications company, and one of the only female engineers involved in building the first fiber optics ring in the New York area. Yet there she was, patronized by a 20-something girl, more obsessed about herself than curing cancer.

I knew my place with my mother-in-law right away.

She gave birth to and raised my husband. Even if I was the Queen of England, I am below her. I owe her.

And to appreciate my understanding of her place above mine, my mother-in-law followed girl-code by complimenting me for adding color.

"Color" as in more than just a fun girl--as in I made her son happy.

Believe it or not, belittlement leads to resentment.

Miss X contacted my husband a few years ago, and asked for him back.


He respectfully declined.


She has a successful career; I have my husband; and that's fact.


I hope she does well in life. I hope she finds a cure for cancer.


I also hope that she finds someone colorful to complement her black-and-white.


Thanks for reading. Good night.



  1. You know, I've always wondered why my boyfriend is with me. He's successful and smart, and a fighter, and I' :D But one thing I've learned in life is that no matter how perfect someone is, it doesn't matter when it comes to love. Love doesn't care about perfection. And besides, everyone is flawed in some way, just because we don't see it, it doesn't mean they're not.
    I think you're lovely, fun, beautiful and intelligent and I think your husband sees so much more in you, than you see. And I would be so happy to meet you in person someday ^_^

  2. Wow. What a story! I think that your husband new from the start that you were the perfect girl for him. You color his life so wonderfully just like the necklace paired with the monochromatic outfit! My husband and I are complete opposites but together we are wonderful. Praise God! I am happy for you and I am glad that your husband was the perfect match for you from the very beginning! =)

    Fashion | Travel | Food
    Jo from

  3. Just when you think a person has it all, there's something missing. I think that's with all of us. I'm glad you two connected. You're a great combination. I hope she finds someone too. Her life seems so regimented. I love your jewelry with that dress. A touch of color is always nice.

  4. I so know the feeling. you are fine. we should never try to even put ourselves on other peoples levels because we are different. No one is better though we see it in our minds that they are. You are so sweet seeing your post and your writings you are also very smart!!! You have a blog hands down you win!! ( no im serious) the outfit killer, your perception of life..ride it into the sunset!!!!

  5. I think we've all met those sorts of black-and-white people before, but, like you, I'd much rather live my life in color! :)

  6. Omg, what a funny post! You don't mean those things, do you? (just kidding). Either way, love the honesty and you're simply beautiful! Lovely maxi, btw. Have a great week!

    xo Jo

  7. You look great. I am glad that you could be the color added into your husband's life! There is nothing wrong with that :)

  8. You wrote such an interesting post, not a typical fashion blog post ;) I often feel like my hubby is too good for me, too. But sometimes, the hubbies do know best *hehe* You look amazing in this black + white dress!

  9. this was such an interesting post to read! great look!

  10. Wow soo beautifully written...
    Lovedd everything abt this post including d dress n ur pics..

  11. Looks great on you ^^

    恵美より ♥


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