Sunday, June 3, 2012

Beating the Housewife Blues - How to Survive Your First Year as a Stay-at-Home Mom

You are a stay-at-home mom. What do you do ALLLLLLL DAY?

Though I was not offended by my ex-manager's question, I have been answering similar questions from other career women. 

Another friend, who just became a new mom and wanted to quit her job too, expressed similar curiosity. She was especially concerned about feeling like a lonely housewife.

Their curiosity is understandable -- for someone who always worked outside of the house, the lifestyle of stay-at-home moms must seem so foreign. To these women, as well as anyone contemplating on becoming a stay-at-home mom, I say, "you needn't worry at all."

Yes. A new baby changes your life drastically. Going from career girl to full-time mom takes adjustment, and the first year is especially difficult. But you'll get the hang of things in no time.

Here's how.

A not-so-appealing stereotypical depiction of housewives.

Create a daily schedule

Think a schedule is too stringent? Think again.

Even for the most free spirited mom, schedules make a convenient tool for planning your daily life. 

Everyday, figure out when your baby's nap and feeding times are, and stick with them as much as you can. Once a schedule is in place, you can then plan other activities within the gaps.

One thing to take note on is that babies' nap times change. So re-adjust if you must.

The aquarium is one of the many places you can take your baby to.

Get outside of the house every day

Speaking of activities, schedule one for everyday of the week. Make sure it's outside of your home. 

Hit the play ground, go to story time, or meet up with friends. You can do whatever you like, as long as you are not sulking at home.

Remember -- you are only as lonely as you allow yourself to be.

Here are some ideas:
Local libraries
Kid-friendly coffee houses
Shopping malls
Community centers
Parks and playgrounds

You can always enjoy a walk on sunny days. I like to stroll along the waterfront of downtown Seattle.

Pick a regular activity to meet other parents

Once you have attended various activities, pick your favorite one(s), and consistently go to those each week. 

People become friendly only if they feel comfortable with you. So create a certain comfort level with other parents by making yourself available and familiar.

Once you've connected with other parents, extend casual chit chats into a lunch or coffee break. 

Eventually, you will become friends with these parents, and even get invited on play dates and birthday parties.

A few moms and I often go eat at the local Asian grocer for lunch.

Lately, we have been into bubble tea.

Don't set your expectations too high

Of course, friendships take time. Don't expect every parent to become a new buddy. Just because you both have a baby doesn't mean you have a lot in common. 

Be open. Be friendly. But also be understanding if you don't connect immediately. Great relationships are neither forced nor quick.

Take time for yourself and your husband

An easy way to adjust to a new life is to keep a part of your old life in tact.

Prior to baby, did you go on date nights with the Mister? Did you have girls' nights? Continue doing them once in a while. Taking a breather from 24/7 mom duty gives you both a physical and emotional break.

Local parks are always good places to go and meet people at.

Find a passion. Develop a hobby.

You don't need a paycheck to feel accomplished. Now is an opportune time to explore your passions and hobbies. 

Obviously, I took up blogging. But what about you? Do you like to knit? Sew? Bake dog treats? 

The possibilities are endless. And when you become really good, like my friend Susan with her photography (Susan Ulep Photography), you might even turn your hobby into a lucrative business -- how's that for accomplishment?

Are you a stay-at-home mom too?

If so, any suggestions?


  1. These are some great tips, I'm not a mom but even I can see how these would be great for the future. :)

  2. really great tips! i am not a mom but would love to be one someday :) i think your idea to have a hobby is awesome too, blogging is perfect!

    x Jordan
    - Boho Vanity -

  3. I totally agree about the schedule. Getting a schedule in place will save your sanity especially when multiple kids are involved, otherwise, it will be hard pressed to even get out of the house.

  4. Great post! I might need it in the future ;p

    Thanks for your visit.. bTW I liked your fb fanpage. It will be great if you like mine too dear!

    here you go.


  5. I think this sounds like a lovely way to spend your day! I'm jealous!

  6. you always make great and useful posts :))) this is helpful :)))


  7. I can't imagine what it must be like.I have friends that are stay at home Mum's & it sounds so busy & demanding!
    This sounds like very good advice.

  8. Love this! Though I'm not a mom, I am a stay-at-home gf and it's a lot of work! There is always something that has to be done. Blogging and polish making has helped me set aside some time for me and my *creative* thoughts hehe

  9. Great and helpful Post ,love it!

    Lovely Greetings :)

  10. Yes I am and some times it is very frustrating but at the same time very rewarding to see my kids and being there for them.

  11. I wish I was a housewife too :/ I'm a banker and I 'm fed up with working and I really don't want to work :) very boring and monotone, but I have to.

  12. Interesting post, it's nice to hear this, motherhood must be hardwork!

  13. Excellent tips, darling!
    This post should be required reading for all stay-at-home moms!


  14. This is a great guide! I am not a house mom (not even a mom at that, just a girl in college) but my mother is and her cure to the housewife blues are to shop, shop, and shop! I'm sure that is a great remedy (maybe not for the wallet) but for your own personal gratification! Great post :) xo

  15. I love this! Of course the duties of a stay at home are a lot harder than going to work. .. there's always something to do but love the suggestions of taking a night out with the hubby and finding a hobby. Hope your feeling great, love seeing the clips of Seattle.

    <a href=">Red Soles and Red Wine</a>

  16. I love this post! Omg, I've been a stay-at-home mom (when my kids were a lot younger) and constantly my friends think that I have nothing to do. Seriously, I clean my house and cook all day long, thank god, I took up blogging and yes, it's time consuming, but hey, it's fun!

    xo Jo

  17. Aaaah thanks for sharing this. After 3 years of not working. I've been feeling the itch lately. But like what you said. There are so much things to do really. I have 3 kids. A big home with 6 bedrooms. Yep, so A LOT of things has to be done. But still I always find "ME" time to keep me sane at all times!!! :))


  18. as far as i can remember, having a baby for the first year is always busy busy and busy for me, feeding, changing, bathing, cleaning.....etc. so i am pretty glad that i have more time on myself now as they grow up. anyways, you have some very good suggestions here:))

  19. Amazing post!!! Simple and important advices!!!
    Have a wonderful Stay-at-Home Mom's day!!!

  20. Great tips .... I totally agree "Find a passion. Develop a hobby."

    Enter Giveaway

  21. I'm not a parent yet.. I'm slightly scared if being one to be honest but great tips - you sound like a really active mother! Would love to be that when I become one!

  22. I was a stay at home mother for all three of my children, the time flies by, enjoy the children as much as possible. I just went to my daughter college orientation! wuh!

  23. lol ha...well I don't have any kids but that was cute.



  24. Really interesting post- thanks for sharing!

  25. i wish i had the opportunity to stay home with my kids! i actually went stir crazy on maternity leave with my first, but by my second child i wished i had more time at home.


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