Saturday, December 31, 2011

ALWAYS SUNNY IN SEATTLE - HOW TO DEAL WITH MEAN ANONYMOUS COMMENTS

Always sunny in Seattle? Hard to believe, but it is true, because sunshine is a state of mind.

As bloggers, we put ourselves out there in cyberspace -- and cyberspace is a cruel, cruel place. I know a few bloggers who periodically get mean, insulting comments. And worst of all, the comments are anonymous -- how cowardly!

On Friday, I received such comments, with words like "you have no style," "your picture qualities is horrible," "your makeup makes you look 20 years older" and "no elegance."

Then, the same person came back three minutes later (blogger records posting time, among other useful info, by the way) to add another insult, "Tacky! That's the word I'm looking for."

(Judging from the person's grammatical errors, style of writing and content, I have a sickening feeling to whom this spiteful commenter might be.)

What a gloomy way to start the day, huh?

But then, it got sunny:

I received two packages from fellow bloggers in the mail:

An adorable Boux shower and lotion set from A Lauren to Herself:



and a Deborah Lippmann nail set from NYC and a Little Cannoli:



Such love in the blogging community! Thank you girls.

Even better -- out of the blue, a Seattle friend sent me the sweetest email that said: 

"thank you for being a good friend this year," 
"super proud of you," 
and 
"you bring class and elegance in my life."

Then, I checked my blogger email to find a message from a company interested in sponsoring a post for my blog -- how fantastic is that?

To top it off, I ended the night at Happy Hour at Amber, one of my favorite bars in Seattle, with good food, tasty beer and delightful conversation with two awesome girls.

Amber Seattle - one of the coolest bars in Belltown.

Tasty ribs, delicious salad, and a glass of cold Stella on tap - a perfect way to wrap up the day.


Sure there are naysayers out there whose only defense against their own insecurities are cowardice cyber bullying. And as bloggers, we get the grunt of them. But it is up to us to let these mean, despicable "anonymous" commenter(s) make our days go bad.

And if you ever get one of these messages on your blog, just think of all the friends you have made on blog-o-sphere, the millions of positive messages you receive each day, and business opportunities you obtain that might someday turn your passion for blogging into a chance to become your own boss. 

(Hey, Problogger recorded over $100,000 a year in salary. Why can't you do it?)

Remember -- if it is always sunny in rainy Seattle, it is always sunny wherever you are.

How do you deal with mean anonymous comments?


89 comments:

  1. I really can not understand how people can be so mean!! Its the age old cliche but its sooo true - if you dont have anything nice to say dont say anything at all!! We bloggers do this to share our passions and by doing this we share pieces of ourselves and our hearts. Negative comments really HURT and no one should be inflicted with negativity. I'm all about sharing the love and I hope my blog makes people smile. We are lucky to be in a generation where we can communicate with people all over the world, if we can use our blogs to bring people together and make new friends that is an amazing thing. Delete and forget about those haters!

    Ok so rant over! I personally love reading your blog, I think you are super pretty and girl ur so lucky to have a banging figure even after having a baby!!

    Deborah Lippmann's are gorgeous!! Lucky you again!

    And I love seeing random photo's of different cities! Please post more pics of Seattle! btw...this might sounds like a silly question but is Seattle Grace from Greys a real place? That view thru the glass wall just looks so beautiful!

    myCherryLane.blogspot.com

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  2. Well I don't get mean anonymous comments because I don't allow anonymous comments. I have no patience for people who aren't man enough or woman enough to own the things they say. I don't worry that I'm missing anything super important because people can always email me if they'd rather not leave a post for the world to see.

    Sorry to hear you got some troll poop though in your comments (no doubt all from the same person) today. But judging by the rest of your post, the good clearly outweighed the bad.

    Hope you have a wonderful New Year, and I agree--there's plenty of reasons to stay positive.

    http://mystylecanvas.blogspot.com

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  3. Hi girl, I am happy to be followers and I just wanted to have friend. Those mean people let them be: and don't let them ruin ur life. They r just nothing but trash, lol. Enjoy your new year. Like you said, there's blogger who carealways for u. Thanks Arceli

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  4. I have yet to have a nasty comment for which I am thankful for, I am not sure how I would react when / if I do receive them.

    On the flip side how lovely to know that people are out there who are like that and send pick me ups.

    xx

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  5. You know you are getting popular when you receive mean comments! Take it as a compliment! Also the nail polish set looks amazing!!

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  6. Wow... That's really rude. Not to mention not true at all! I'm glad that you have the right attitude about it all.

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  7. Firstly, do not allow anonymous comments. If they can't comment publicly with their identity then maybe they are a coward!

    Secondly, I get nasty comments on Chinese, Polish, and Russian beauty forums because they resent the number of times my face comes up when they google a beauty product.
    If they steal your picture and make nasty comments, you can file a image theft complaint with the hosting company and they will remove it.

    Good luck!

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  8. I have something to say about those that leave rude comments: When you judge somebody, it says more about you than it does about the person you judge.

    That's a quote, but I'm paraphrasing lol. I heard it once and I thought it was very true.

    I think you have a fantastic blog :) I'm now following...and happy new year!

    xo

    www.ravenhaireddoll.blogspot.com

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  9. I completely understand because I just made a post today about something similar. The only difference was it was people I knew personally I had to write this for. I told them off in the post. It was passive-aggressive but if they going to be kiddy about something as simple as a blog post, then they gots to get got.

    Good luck to you and do your thang!

    I love your blog

    Jae
    stilettolife1.blogspot.com

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  10. People have waaay too much time. I love your blog and will be following :)

    xo, tasha
    twenty-something blog
    follow me

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  11. I delete mean comments and forget about them (as much as I can). You can't control what people post but you can control your response. It's just one crazy bitch in a pool of many readers and almost 700 loyal followers.

    Besides - you'll get many haters to the way to the top :)

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  12. That really sucks! I love your blog :) Guess you just need to look past their comments. You have lots of people who love reading what you write. Just forget the negatives!
    Happy New Year! xxx

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  13. Thank you for this post! I admire your spirit. I can't believe people post such mean things. Keep up the good work.

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  14. I am so sorry to hear that you recei ed such a rude comment...this is awful. I think you do have style and your photos are great! Don't let these people get to you, just be yourself.

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  15. People can be cruel, I'm ashammed to be human sometimes.

    But yay for all the good things.

    Have a wonderful night tonight xo

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  16. What an asshole. But hey, it's bound to happen. I haven't received anything overly "mean" so far but recently did receive a comment that was snarky. The person obviously didn't get my sarcasm. Rolls eyes. But really, I have a feeling this person is just jealous of your success, jealous that you're doing something for yourself and that you have all these people who read your blog and love you for you! They just want to bring you down... and as sad as that is, they're trying to do in such a petty way. Just laugh. Honestly, if you don't like the blog, don't read it. So why do you keep coming back?

    Anyways, have a happy new year and all the best to you in 2012!! Hugs and kisses xo

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  17. Some people are definitely ridiculous! I think you’re classy and elegant and that you should ignore everyone who thinks differently!

    Haven’t gotten many mean comments... I just delete them and forget about them, and focus on all the wonderful and nice people in the blogging world. I say you keep on keepin’ on!

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  18. I think I have it set to where I don't get anonymous comments.
    Sorry to hear that you got those mean comments, some people are just haters!!
    Glad to hear of the good things that other bloggers are doing too, happy new year dear!

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  19. keep looking forward with your head up, haters are always gonna hate! you have a lovely blog and we come here because we want to. pay no attention to the negative crap. i love how you turned this negative situation into a positive. keep smilng! RISE ABOVE HATE

    "Calling someone fat won't make you skinnier.
    Calling someone stupid won't make you any smarter.
    Ruining someone's life won't make yours any better.
    The only thing that you can do in life is solve the problem that's in front of you."

    ~From the movie Mean Girls (ain't that the truth!?)

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  20. I've only ever had one mean anon comment and I deleted it... I probably should have left it as it makes them look like idiots, not me.

    I really don't understand people who waste their time leaving mean comments. Do they have nothing better to do? Sad!

    Glad your day got better though :)))

    Happy 2012!! xx

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  21. thanks for sharing, im having a kate spade giveaway btw ,join if u like?
    http://mwanwan.blogspot.com

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  22. How awful! I'm sorry to read you are getting those comments, really I don't get why people even bother... I think the best thing you can do is to ignore them!!!

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  23. Hello I went and I joined because I found your blog very interesting. I also have a blog where I talk about wellness and fashion make-up if you sign up you leave my link

    www.fairyandlady.blogspot.com

    kisses and happy new year

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  24. Babe - just wanted to say HAPPY NEW YEARS and thanks for all your support and awesomeness in 2011 ^__^ And that is the reason why I disabled Anonymous comments - if you remove the opportunity, then they can't post shit! xx

    http://opinionslave.blogspot.com

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  25. it's sad that you even have to post about this.you shouldn't have to. Don't mind those haters.

    remember this quote : ''Behind every successful person lies a pack of haters.''

    Let them hate but don't let them get to you.Keep your head held up high. :) Keep smiling.

    Happy New Year :)

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  26. Delete and forget about it, or disable anon comments to discourage these types from visiting your blog.

    I think people who leave comments like that are unhappy individuals and probably make themselves feel better by saying nasty things about others. It's sad really.

    YOU have a great attitude and look lovely in all your posts.

    Wishing you a happy, healthy 2012! :)

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  27. I just laugh off anonymous comments like that, its just not worth it to get upset. The people obviously have no lives, and after a while when they see it doesn't affect you they'll leave you alone :)
    http://www.closet-fashionista.com/

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  28. I love that Debora Lippman set - you lucky thing. Urgh what awful comments! Someone is obviously very jealous and has far too much time on their hands. Ignore them and keep doing what you're doing, karma will catch up with the culprit!

    victoriasprocrastinationproject.blogspot.com

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  29. First off, having lived in Seattle I completely agree with your statement that sunshine is a state of mind. The grey skies and rain can get to you if you let it. Such a wonderful analogy to someone leaving mean comments on your blog. How wonderful that you received such beautiful tokens of appreciation and friendship from your friends in the blogging world to help you see that you can't let the "haters" get to you :-) It's just not worth it. They are miserable people for some reason...and take some satisfaction in making others feel miserable also. Basically...they are a bully.

    Have a happy new year girl and keep your head up!
    XO - Marion

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  30. This is such a great post. I just ignore it. If its really mean I remove it but I havent had to do that too much. Have a Happy New Year Darling!

    xx
    Monroe

    Fashion Steele NYC

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  31. I just found your blog and will be following! Just my two cents-negitive people try to spread their negativity, unhappy people try to make others unhappy. Thanks for sharing the sunshine!
    heatherhoneyblog.blogspot.com

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  32. I love your sparkly nailpolish :) lovely ..
    Veronika

    www.livinginwinterpeg.blogspot.com

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  33. Happy New Year!

    It's a real bummer to get mean comments. I don't allow anonymous comments, so I haven't gotten strange comments for a while now. Perhaps the best way to think of things is that those commenters have something else negative in their life they're trying to deal with, and they haven't found a positive outlet. The best we can do is feel sorry for them and ignore it. I find that this is helpful for life in general :)

    It looks like you have a lot to look forward to (that beautiful lippmann trio for example!)

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  34. Sigh...you're exactly right. They are cowards! I get nasty comments from time to time. Before it hurts, but now I just ignore and DELETE!!!

    Happy New Year!

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  35. I thankfully haven't had to deal with any mean anonymous comments as of yet!! That really sucks that people do that. There's so many positive things that come from blogging though! Have a wonderful and happy New Year!

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  36. Ignore those commenters who can't even leave their own name when they don't have something nice to say. They are cowards and wimps!

    Luck you to have received the Deborah Lippmann nail set. I've been eyeing it for a while but I just couldn't justify spending that much money on it.

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  37. So great to hear that you got over a nasty comment. People are mean, and they try to hurt you just for the sake of it. I would say it's best to ignore it, because they will go away eventually. I bet you get tons of lovely comments that make it up for the one that is bad. :)
    I've actually never gotten a hater comment, I don't know why I'm so lucky. But I'm deathly afraid I'll get one someday, because I won't follow my own advice and I just know I'll take it to heart. Mean people suck. :(

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  38. It truly is a shame that people can be so hurtful and cruel. Saying rude things is mean enough, but using the veil of anonymity makes it worse. I've been looking at your blog for a while and love it! You're a sweet person and I'm glad that you have lots of good comments to make up for the bad. Keep your head up!

    http://myeverydayrunway.wordpress.com

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  39. You know, I never understood the desire to bring someone down or make them feel bad. I think that constructive criticism is great but being mean for the sake of being mean is just tasteless. I never pay much attention to these comments the only time I get upset is when I see comments like that on my friends blogs:)

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  40. I think the best thing to do is the ignore and move on. They're just not worth it. I'm glad your day turned out well in the end - lovely packages, sweet email and a great time with friends. You've got style and you know it! (Btw, you totally rocked that silver and grey outfit). :)

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  41. Happy new year, i wish you the best love this post!

    http://paquetevistasbien.blogspot.com

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  42. You are right on point with this! I believe that if we all support one another then we can all create wealth for one another!

    New years resolution: Everyday I will visit new blogs, I will click on all their adds and view sponsors. Stay up-to-date with them on their blogging journey. Its important that we all stick together!

    Thanks for the post! I'm officially following <3

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  43. I am so sorry you got hurtful comments. Dont let it get you down. I just figure these ppls lives are so miserable they have to spread that too! Your makeup is always gorgeous!

    love from San Francisco,
    Britt+Whit

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  44. Some people have nothing better to do then be awful to anyone they can! I think you have great styling with all your posts! Stay strong girl

    much love from canada,

    northern style exposure

    www.northernstyle.blog.com

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  45. great attitude to have

    allybbanks.blogspot.com

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  46. Wow! I can't believe there are adults like this that still exist.

    If you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all is my theory!

    What does this person gain out of writing this? Not to mention they are following your blog.

    Keep your head high and continue doing what you're doing! Obviously you're doing a wonderful job!

    http://mymommyhasstyle.blogspot.com/

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  47. I haven't gotten any hateful comments yet, but if I did, I'd just ignore them because they're not worth caring about. They're probably just jealous of you hahah.

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  48. Sometimes there are just insecure and mean people out there. Great message to other folks out there dealing with haters. Happy new year!

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  49. comments like that are written out of jealousy. the fact that they're under "anonymous" is just pathetic and signs of insecurity, definitely. so proud of us bloggers that live above the immaturity & meanness!
    hope you're having a great start to the new year & those presents are so fab! you deserve it

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  50. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  51. Sorry that you have to deal with rude people. They really suck some of the fun out of blogging.

    On another note, that Lippman set is gorgeous.

    Happy new year to you!

    *Erin

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  52. I delete em, lol. No time for negitivity. You are FAB, dont belive anything else.

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  53. I know those problems with haters - but actually think it's kind of funny cause those persons are your biggest fans, rated by the times they visit your blog each day. No worries, you are gorgeous!

    http://kiwipferdchen.de.vu

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  54. I just created my very own blog today and I'd be really dishearten if someone posted a comment so harsh like that. But let them waste their time putting such rude comments. I can see you have a lot of blogfriends that know just how beautiful and inspiring you are :)

    a Happy new year to you!

    Belated greetings from the Philippines <3

    http://truffleinahaystack.blogspot.com

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  55. great blog..I invite you to visit my blog and if you like to follow me from google firnds, and i follw you...i wait you.Kiss kiss from Italy
    A_C'est moi
    http://www.lamodeouicestmoi.blogspot.com/

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  56. Oh how rude, ignore them hunnie, jealousy springs to mind ;). Happy New Year xx

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  57. this is such an inspiring post :) your outlook is very admirable and when you think about it, why shouldn't you be positive?! You've got amazing friends and opportunities are knocking everywhere. when someone tries to bring you down it only means that you're on top. ;) happy new year, dear! keep that positivity :)

    xx
    heyrocketgirl

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  58. I really like this post, because I don´t understand why are some people mean like this! I read only that posts I like and I write comments if I like it only... But don´t worry your blog is amazing :)

    Banana from
    http://bananaandmandarina.blogspot.com/

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  59. sometime i reply them or simply remove their comment. i never take it serious. maybe they're just jealous, and like my parents said, haters is secret lovers of yours :p
    i the nail polish. so cute and girly <3
    happy new year, hope you had a great year ahead :))

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  60. Positive messages are the way to go!

    I don't allow anonymous comments on my blog ;)

    xoxox,
    CC

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  61. People can be so rude! Don't listen to the haters, you are gorgeous and have amazing style! Happy new year doll <3

    xoxo, H
    http://givemeglamourplease.blogspot.com

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  62. The key to those comments is that they are anonymous! People that cannot tell you to your face all that anger do not deserve your time or tears.

    Nothing bad with moderating comments and you will avoid yourself loads of trouble (although from experience I have had lovely blog friends come to my defence!)

    Happy NY!

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  63. I wish you a great year :)

    xoxo

    http://behind-the-clouds-mt.blogspot.com

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  64. That is horrible! I nearly quit, because of foolishness like that. You're a gorgeous girl, i love your style, you're talented and smart. Don't let them get to you. What wonderful gifts! There are so many nice bloggers out there. Glad you had a great New Years! My blog address has changed. Just wanted to let you know.
    http://www.averysweetblog.com/

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  65. hey
    lovely post. I MODERATE COMMENTS to avoid mean comments.
    Do check out my blog
    love
    megha
    http://meghafashionista.blogspot.com

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  66. I haven't gotten any mean comments but I haven't been blogging long either. Your attitude towards the bad experience is an example and inspiration.

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  67. I don't understand why people feel the need to be mean. I am with you and am surprised by the kindness and sense of community from other bloggers and wish that that type of behavior would be the one everyone followed!

    Happy new year dear!

    xoxo,
    Chic 'n Cheap Living

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  68. I just ignore them, it's not worth anyone's time to be upset over what someone said behind a screen.

    You have such a lovely blog, Glad I found you so I could follow

    You should come check out my blog if you've got a sec (;

    dearest-lou.blogspot.com

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  69. I don't understand why people waste all their time and energy to leave such hateful messages. A few months back I came across this blog where they bash fashion bloggers (I myself was among many fashion bloggers they tore apart). It's one thing to give feedback but it's one thing to leave HATEFUL messages. Why waste so much time. If you don't like my blog then don't stop by. My friend who is also a fashion blogger put it best that these people are just jealous. That they don't have anything else to put out there in the world. If anything these haters should give you the motivation to keep on going! Screw them.

    http://fashionistanygirl.blogspot.com/

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  70. That is unbelievably horrible! That person should be kicked out of the blog world. I'm all for honesty but only when it's private and constructive not hurtful! Don't let it get to you that person is probably just jealous or miserable!

    Lindsey Turner
    http://thriftandshout.blogspot.com

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  71. I deal with mean anonymous commenters by not allowing anonymous comments. Some people will still make up a name/e-mail to comment, but most aren't that motivated.

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  72. congrats on all of your achievements in 2011. don't worry about the negative comments. i'm sure you aren't the only one that gets them. focus on the positives.

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  73. that was so mean of them to say. there are other ways to express yourself other than putting something negative in someone space. and this blog is your space

    Love, www.shoeocracy.blogspot.com

    Za

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  74. I don't understand the mean comments. What's the point of wasting time to write a mean comment? If you don't like something, close the window. It seems so stupid to put that kind of negativity out in the world. Anyway, just keep doing what you do because THAT'S why you're successful.

    Sarah
    http://comingunstitched.blogspot.com

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  75. The food looks very yummy!

    Tye
    www.lagelledailydose.blogspot.com

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  76. Honey I'm so very sorry you had to deal with such a nasty person. The best advice I can give you is to ignore and move on...I know is easier to say than done but you're better than that and your blog is amazing. Love your style and life is too short to sweat on things like this. Best of luck and keep your head up always.


    <3 Marina
    Fashion.MakeUp.LifeStyle

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  77. That is horrible! I've had several mean comments before too. It really bugged me -I mean we are human. But you're right - it's so cowardly to hide behind anonymity and try to be so judgmental. As cliche as it sounds, I think most haters are just jealous and obviously need to reassure themselves of their own self worth by putting down others. I hope ou don't pay them any more mind and know that you ARE classy, beautiful, and such a genuinely good person. I am honored to "know" you. So keep up the sunny disposition! Happy New Years and may the sun keep shining on you!

    xx Vivian @ http://diamondsandtulle.blogspot.com

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  78. the deborah lippmann's are amazing!!
    http://chillychickblog.blogspot.com/

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  79. I too have had some nasty comments on another blog, but I always think if they can waste their time and energy being mean then that's their problem not ours! You, like I have a positive attitude and I see that you managed to put the comments to the back of your mind, and carry on with your day.
    I'm sure you realize that your blog is amazing due to your loyal followers. I think you are an amazing person, and call you one of my most loyal followers and you always brighten up my day with your lovely comments. Keep up your great work <3 xx

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  80. I haven't really run into that problem yet.. I think I might cry if I do.

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  81. Mean commenters are the worst!!! I once saw a blogger write a post directed to an anonymous commenter and they responded to everything the anonymous commenter said. I thought that was a nice way to respond, or maybe it wasn't nice, but at least it was taking care of business. lol Commenting anonymously is so cowardly!!

    Anyways, pay no attention to them! You're fabulous, girl!

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  82. WOW I can't believe that people do such things. I always think that if you don't have anything nice to share, don't share anything at all. People can be so awful. I am only new to blogging it's my 4th month and I haven't received any bad comments, but I am almost anticipating it.

    I did have a friend write to my personal facebook address and tell me to spend my money on things like the 'East African Hunger Crisis' and I thought that was rude and unnecessary and quite silly of her to advise me on how to allocate my finances!

    I just responded politely advising her that I appreciated her thinking of me but that I would support charities as I see fit. What I felt like saying was something much worse, but I bit my tongue!

    In short, I say respond with elegance and class and they should leave you alone - what can they say when you are as nice as pie really!!! Along with that it looks like you need to disable the option to post anonymously. I will do the same.

    Good luck Lady!

    http://lovestyleblogging.blogspot.com/

    LSB
    xoxo

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  83. Good for you!!!!
    Well, just remember, if someone is trying to put you down, it means you are higher than them, haha!
    Stay nice, stay humble.

    Visit me:
    LeeAnne, Style N Season
    http://stylenseason.blogspot.com

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  84. Sorry to hear that you were subject to mean comments from people out there! You definitely don't deserve it and I love your blog! Keep writing and don't pay attention to those cowards. Xoxo

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Thanks for stopping by. Comments, links and constructive criticism welcome. Negative, attacking, snark-y commenter - you can still comment, but at least have the courage to show yourself.