Saturday, March 30, 2013

Don't Be A Catty Blogger (Fashion Blog Post)

I was reading a fashion forum today...


It's a high-traffic forum. I won't state the name. 

The cattiness exploded like a ton of C4's: some petite blogger was accused of plagiarizing others. (I'm not intimate with the circumstances, but do question how one can plagiarize outfits?) Anyway, mean comments about her just poured in: "she's pathetic," "she's sad," etc.

Then the cattiness snowballed into bizarrely off-topic conversations, like making fun of a mom blogger for wearing leather pants, and calling bloggers stupid for creating girlie URL's. 

Please don't look at my URL.

Sh*t. You looked.

If the real world is tough, then blogosphere is 10 times tougher.








23 housemates. Half a fight.


Nelly* didn't want me doing situps in the TV room, so she sat on me. I then retaliated by squeezing her left boob. 

It was my first and only fight in the sorority house. (I consider it half a fight, because it lasted like...half a minute.)

Afterwards, I reached out to Nelly with an apology. She glared at me for a week--a passive-aggressive way of being catty, I suppose.

Eventually, Nelly realized that glaring didn't do much good, and reconciled with me. The two of us even became good friends. Had I returned "fire" though, we'd still be glaring at each other.

A childish and unnecessary incident, the fight taught me two lessons: 1) Don't touch other people's privates. 2) Cattiness gets you nowhere.

Our sorority housed 23 sisters that year. I witnessed plenty of cat fights, but somehow managed to escape with only half a scratch.

How did I do it?


Apologize and walk away. 

I'm sorry for ... Let's move on. (Or something along those lines.)

Why? 

Because apologizing takes courage, and shows that you're the bigger person; and walking away is a sign of strength, and a way to stand up for yourself.

It's like saying: whatever happened sucks. I've learned from it, and moved on. How about you?

If the opposite party becomes malicious, spreads vicious rumors behind your back, throws catty remarks when you get together, or writes mean comments on your blog anonymously (oh the joy of blogosphere), what do you do?

YOU. DON'T. CARE. 

You've already walked away, and therefore, they don't exist. 




What for?


What is all this cattiness for anyway?

It doesn't make you grow as a person; it doesn't make you smart, or strong, or successful; It doesn't make your blog better, or your fashion sense wiser.

What it does do is offer you temporary satisfaction. In my book, minute minutes of victory is a lifetime of emptiness.


 

Don't be a catty blogger. 


Because, again, cattiness gets you nowhere. Not even in blogsphere.

If someone victimizes you, just say, "sorry you feel that way," and walk away. 

Always have enough respect for yourself to walk away from anything that doesn't make you grow.





What you could do instead...


is support and encourage each other to be better bloggers. You have one life to live, why not make every experience, blogging included, richer?

And if you have the urge to express opinions towards someone, don't be passive agressive about it. (You too, anonymous commenter.) Have the audacity to email or ID yourself in comments.





Here comes the fashion part of this blog post: WEAR LEOPARD!

 

If you can't be a catty blogger, why don't you dress the part?

 

Leopard is a part of the Felidae Family, or "big cats," and is known for possessing speed and stealth. 

 

Now don't you want to look as bad-ass as this cat?

 

   

47 comments:

  1. I'm sorry... I looked at your URL when you mentioned girlie... LOL.

    Nonetheless, I agree with doing your part... Just say sorry and move on... It doesn't make things worse, and if it does, it's just the other one who can't move on...

    And I LOVE LEOPARD PRINTS!!! Can I have your scarf? hahaha just kidding!
    Someone gave me one as a gift, and totally relates to this post haha!

    Have a great week! :)

    -Steph
    http://traveliztera.com

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  2. Tat's true.some people don c the efforts vput in maintaining a blog..n i too looked at ur URL :P

    shylu
    www.sweetnshy.com

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  3. I absolute agree with you....

    And i love your classic outfit. The shoes fits perfect with the scarf

    Glamupyourlifestyle.blogspot.de

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  4. Awesome post, darling ~ so true!
    And I love your look, especially the scarf!

    xoxox,
    CC

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  5. I suspect you're talking about GOMI, Get Off My Internets. It's a harsh experience if you are caught in the crossfire for sure.

    I'd rather support others- but people are what they choose to be and some choose to be trolls- just read youtube comments if you want to see the worst of human nature.

    People do plaguarize- total aside- and when you're the one they're stealing from, it feels horrible and I don't think people respect thieves- the story you mentioned she steals more than outfits she actually "lifts" stories and pretends they are her own.

    Happy Easter- you look good in Leopard.

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  6. I love how you match together scarf and shoes <3

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  7. thank you so much for your visit!
    wishes of a very sweet and enlighted Easter!

    kisses ,
    Aida
    from
    http://cottoncandy-peaches.blogspot.com

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  8. So cute in leopard!

    http://www.fashionroll.com

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  9. I like your text. that's true, there is a lot of blog copycats over the internet. These people don't have any sense of what is really blogging, blog is a way to show your own ideas.
    Your look is very cute, I love the leopard print, so feminine and chic!
    Kisses
    Le Blog de Michelle
    Facebook Le Blog de Michelle

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  10. You look great,
    awesome post, so true!
    Big kiss.

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  11. I agree, sometimes I read comments and blog posts and I'm like "wow thats so harsh." As a woman I know how mean other women and girls can be, so I made it a point to always uplift and not judge. We're so strong, if we all united we would take over the world. All you can do is lead my example and you're doing an amazing job! Your kids are lucky to have such a great role model. :) In other news, I want a nice cardigan like that for casual chic days.

    xo
    Tiffy
    http://www.CuteLA.com

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  12. Lovely post and great advice I enjoyed reading :) x

    www.krystelcouture.com

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  13. I agree 100%! Well-said!

    www.tylatimes.com

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  14. Lovely outfit...
    I agree with you cattiness gets you nowhere...

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  15. Great advice, it's so sad that in this day and age people are still like that, although 'peace and free love' is not going to happen anytime soon, there's no harm in just being nice!

    www.beblacknblue.blogspot.co.uk

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  16. I agree, that the best way to overcome or prevent a catty situation is to be the first one to apologize or talk to the other person like an adult and reconcile :) btw love your "catty"? outfit!! :D Hope you have a lovely day, sweetie!

    xoxo

    glam-mania.blogspot.com

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  17. Great outfit <3 <3 You look so pretty!

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  18. I agree-cattiness is so stupid, it just stops all of us from moving forward in life. I wish girls would just support each other instead of wasting energy bringing each other down.

    But that plagiarizing blogger story I've heard before-it's pretty terrible, this girl is basically stealing all of this blogger's ideas and won't stop!

    xx
    Sophisticated Lace

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  19. Hmm I think I know of the controversy you're talking about hehe. It's so hard to judge b/c you can see both sides of the coin here. In the end, I think you are totally right and that we also all need to take a lesson from Bambi - if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all :)

    RYC: Hmm I would give exercise tips, but I don't think I've lost enough weight to even be noticeable!

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  20. Oh, your outfit is so sleek and chic - so nonchalantly stylish for a casual weekend. You are too gorgeous! I am also enamoured with your luscious hair - such a perfect length and cut and it suits your lovely face to a tee!

    <3 Mandy xx
    http://frocksandotherfrivolities.blogspot.com

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  21. I totally agree with everything you said, cattiness really doesn't get you anywhere. thanks for highlighting the issue in such a friendly way :)
    stylesequinsandstripytights.blogspot.co.uk
    Xxx

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  22. Thank you! :)
    I just love your outfit!

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  23. nawww i love this post as i read on the post got better and better and i was nodding in the process haha i too have experienced the anonymous commenters who leave malicious comments on my blog due to circumstances outside of the blogosphere lol so immature right? Like they should have the courage to approach me about the issue thats bothering them instead of attacking me online -___- owell some people just cant change for the better.


    www.candypop-lamour.blogspot.com

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  24. I think most of these forums are visited by women with nothing better to do, but to troll and rant about others, so they can feel good. It's always been a huge disappointment when I visit such places.
    You look so cute, especially with the scarf! ^^

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  25. A very mature post :) Loved reading it. I agree with you. :}}

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  26. Love your shoes, girl! :)

    Hope you have a Magnificent Monday!
    xoxo
    Crystal

    My Blog, Crystal Chizoba

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  27. I'm always amazed at how rude and cruel people can be, when ever I see that, I try to respond with something really positive.

    Chic on the Cheap

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  28. i think it is hilarious that you grabbed her boob first of all hahahah, but way to be the bigger person and apologize! i totally agree there is no reason not to spread only positivity!

    Jessica
    http://www.jumpintopuddles.com

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  29. never understood the online cattiness. so passive aggressive how people feel brave to hate behind a screen when that in itself is cowardly. way to take a stand!

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  30. People are always going to be rude but just find a way to be thankful for the situation. Something good will come out of it. :) You look beautiful and I adore your style.

    http://everythingsalwayssunny.com
    Kristin
    xx

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  31. pretty! would you like to follow each other? let me know!

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  32. i agree with you that catiness is bad!! You can't stop people from being rude, but you can def. control your own reactions!

    http://www.mybrokeneggshells.com

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  33. Dressing the part of catiness sounds tempting. And this is a very good blogpost, interesting to read! I only have four roommates and we barely fight, as in , quite never. But I spare my catiness for those who reaaaally deserve it ;) Love your outfit btw, suits you really well!

    XO, Imke

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  34. i like the leopard makeshift bow tie! your little leopard accents go great with the neutral cardigan. i know about that particular blogger catfight and ain't nobody got time for that. thanks for talking about the elephant in the room and sharing your insight!

    It would make me happy if you visited too!
    pandaphilia fashion

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  35. The world is cruel, so blogging world is cruel too as you can write anything hidden behind a nickname.

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  36. really cute outfit and being catty is just so unnecessary! great post!
    xx Kate

    The Style Department

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  37. great way to look at this kind of situation. it just wastes time and energy.
    love your bits of leopard!

    rockoomph.blogspot.com

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  38. Hey friend!! Great to read this post! I totally agree with you about blogosphere being tougher and more caustic than real life! But hey, we meet nice and encouraging people here too, and I am glad for it! I am back after a long vacation and loving coming back to ur blog for amazing outfits and nice posts like this!! Hope you are having a wonderful day!
    -Jyoti
    Style Delights Blog

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  39. Thanks for posting this one. Sometimes I wonder why so much negativity exists. People can be jerks and it's just a fact of life - but that doesn't mean that we should allow a-holes to bring us down. It's SO ridiculous that someone should be ridiculed for "plagiarizing" outfits! Whatever happened to happy coincidences or giving someone the benefit of the doubt or being inspired by another human being? Isn't that what happens in music and art? Bob Dylan should be deemed a plagiarizing MASTER if it's such an intolerable thing. He was inspired by a lot of artists, musicians, poets - you name it. Dylan made some beautiful music as a result. As women, we should be supporting each other rather than being catty and putting each other down.

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  40. That outfit is so cute!!
    Much love,
    Wengie
    http://www.wengie.com

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  41. I agree with what you have said. I have enabled anonymous comments mostly because the spam it attracts, like the links to websites and stuff (I don't want to put the security question because those things are too time consuming)so I don't get much of those but I've noticed (on other blogs) that they can be really mean.

    I really don't understand the negative comments. I mean if you don't like something, why are you looking at it. Find something else, some other place you like or find inspiring. I guess that some people just need to behave like they do because of their personal problems (that explains the cattiness online pretty well I think).

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    ReplyDelete
  43. Love this outfit on you!! Kat may be my name but I pride myself on not being a catty blogger. It's not how I want to be defined as a blogger or as a person in real life. My motto is it's not just where you got, it's how you treated people along the way.

    ReplyDelete

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