Saturday, November 24, 2012

My husband and I are separated, but only in finances.


My husband and I have been separated since 2004, when we decided to move in together. Since then, we have opened a few joint accounts for necessary purposes like housing and food, while keeping other accounts independent from one another. 

Okay, girlie. That's not normal!

For a married couple, our system seems unconventional. But for a simple person like me, it makes perfect sense: why charge our household account for (yet) another pair of boots -- but this one has snakeskin details -- and endure explaining the difference between snakeskin and leopard to my nerdy hubby?

So you do this out of fear?

Heck no! We do it out of convenience.  

Sure it takes time to manage several accounts, but it takes much longer to separate a receipt that includes groceries, diapers, medicine, and then nail polish that only I use. 

Budgeting requires knowing where your money goes, right? Receipts offer that info. But having to divide each receipt by "household," "my stuff," "his stuff," and so on takes a ton of time -- especially when you have two little ones, and hit the grocery store almost everyday.

Isn't this gorgeous? A nerdy dude would never agree.


Do you pay separately each time then?

Yes. Both my husband and I divide things at check out. We pay for our own stuff with our own money, and pay for household stuff from joint checking.

Do you have access to your husband's individual accounts?

Yes, but I haven't checked them since 2004. I'm pretty sure he doesn't check mine either.

What if he's spending all his dough on some mistress?

Right. I'm sure he's meeting up with some woman on his way to get formula. 

If I couldn't trust him, then I shouldn't have married him.

Sounds good, girlie.'s the point of this post?

Besides fulfilling a reader's request (thanks 7% Solution), there are some benefits of having separate accounts from your husband:

1. It keeps things romantic.

Just got hubby's birthday presents. If we shared one account, he would have already seen the transaction online, and found out where I bought his gifts. This takes away half the surprise.

2. It keeps me motivated.

Like any one-income family, money is tight. I feel guilty buying myself lipstick -- a 3-dollar lipstick.

Because blogging and writing has made money, I can purchase extras like cosmetics or lunch with friends without feeling completely selfish. This, in turn, makes me work harder on blogging and writing.

3. It proves that stay-at-home moms are NOT gold diggers.

A lot of people -- and I'm sure none of my readers do this -- still view stay-at-home moms as lazy, gold digging low lives. But as you can see, we work very hard, and help out financially as much as we can.

By the way, my husband is a mechanical engineer, not some rich 90-year-old. If I do any kind of digging, I'm digging for scrap metal.

Anna Nicole Smith was beautiful, but she sure was a gold digger.

Thanks for reading.


Do you have separate money from your husband?

By the way, according to Women's Personal Finance Online, more men talk about Black Friday than women. Hehe. And we are shop-o-holics?

womenspersonalfinance net black friday infographic v2 Womens
Black Friday Infographic


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